I put on a bikini yesterday for the first time in almost a year yesterday.
I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. I hated the fact that I could see my stretch marks, the fact that my stomach wasn’t completely flat, and that my thighs looked ridiculously thick, the fact that my skin wasn’t completely clear and perfect. It pretty much gave me a panic attack and I hated the fact that it took me forever to gain some courage just to be able to leave my house. Eventually I calmed down enough and was able to go to the pool despite all my anxieties.
I went to the pool with my one of my best friends who is a whole foot taller than me, and I think she’s gorgeous. However, when I got into the car, we both instantly started talking about our bodies and how much we don’t like what we see when we look in the mirror. We talked about how we need to go to the gym, while also telling each other that we think one another looks beautiful and doesn’t need to change unless it’s something we really want to do. Wait, what? Why is it okay to beat ourselves up, but when it comes to our friends we see them in a completely different light?
It’s a toxic mentality to have.
I think it’s honestly caused by the modeling industry. We see these models as flawless, thin, gorgeous human beings and we wish we could look exactly like them. Models are everywhere we look: social media, magazines, television, stores. It’s difficult to avoid.While there have been positive changes in the modeling industry, representing ladies of all shapes and sizes and that’s fantastic, there’s still a mentality that we have to look perfect in order to go out and carry on with our day. We feel this need to always showcase the best parts of our day.
We want people to know that our lives are great on social media without showing the bad parts, because we want to be exactly like these "perfect" people.
No one is showcasing their failures on the Internet.
We absolutely should be. We need to be able to realize that we aren’t perfect, and neither is everyone else. We’re only human, and at the end of the day we have to begin to realize that we’re living our best lives here and now, and not on the Internet!
We need to start doing things for ourselves and not just because we want to look exactly like a model. Go to the gym because you want to feel good and don’t treat it as a weight loss goal. Go a day without wearing make up and let your skin breathe. Wear an outfit that’s comfortable and that you feel good in. Follow people on social media that share the highs and lows of their life, so you can remember people aren’t picture perfect. Remember that you are beautiful exactly how you are: stretch marks, acne, scars, and everything else that may be considered an imperfection because that’s real and raw.